A Short List of Predictions

I was on Reddit yesterday and saw a thread on Ask Reddit titled “Time travelers of Reddit, what’s your favorite part of the future?” I was originally going to use the idea for a writing exercise to be done with Lighten the Attic. We didn’t get the chance last night (though I’m sure we’ll revisit it), so I jotted down some of my own Nostradamus-like predictions, because sadly – I am not a time traveler.

So what do I think might happen in the future?

After the Sochi Olympics ‘face water’ debacle – Putin purchases and flips Mexico. Eventually selling it to China.

It should also be noted that all of the reporters in Sochi ’14 died of mysterious illnesses, or disappeared.

The Planter’s Peanuts people are forced to reassign their mascot by the same people that demanded Beaner’s Coffee be renamed. Nutty the Newt was significantly less popular, and the company was quickly sued and bankrupted by Geico.

Neil Gaiman writes a book so good that Stephen King lets him have the word “noisome.”

Henry Winkler does a wildly popular viral cover of “What Does the Fox Say?” called “What Does the Fonz Say?”

Texas succeeds from the union, renaming their newly formed country “New ‘Merica”

The children raised in New York City flee in massive numbers, for nearly 5 years the city was wracked with crime and packs of wild dogs – think Gotham during No Man’s Land. After that time period it became the fabulous San Francisco of the East.

Warning: Books are more easily destroyed when they’re all digital.

Bionic limbs become highly customizable, leading piercing and tattoo parlors to become piercing/tattoo/amputation parlors. Dildo attachments are popular sellers.

The government engineers nano-robot bees to replace the now extinct ones. They still sting.

Half Life 3 is made. Just kidding.

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2 thoughts on “A Short List of Predictions

  1. Mal Content says:

    Gotham’s emergency response services are terrible. That’s what happens when you subcontract all your police duties to one guy in a mask and divert your entire city budget to running a giant, nightmarish asylum.

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