January was a hard month.
Nearly 42 inches of snow fell on the city I live in, coupled with dangerous temperatures I was forced to spend too many of the those 31 days confined to my home – surrounded by a feet deep, white expanse. This alongside the other challenges and stresses in my life have launched me into something of a slump.
I’ve struggled with depression throughout my life. It is an unwelcome guest that settles deep into the mind’s darkest rooms. There is a constant exhaustion that can’t be assigned any cause – but it’s there, and it’s real, and it keeps you fearful of facing the day before noon. As night settles on the world that old, familiar darkness settles in too. These times are the hardest.
January saw a lot of darkness, but there was also light, there is always light.
The joy in writing, in creating, simply isn’t there right now – so I will save that light and think on it a little while longer. I’ll try and cast it into those dark rooms, where I’m sure to find something beautiful.