Pics or GTFO

My imprisonment has ended, which is good – I’m pretty sure if I had stopped eating I might have started showing signs of malnutrition. The roads are still pretty bad, and there’s mountains of snow drifting all over. I probably shouldn’t have gone out at all, but I was itching to get my nipples pierced. (Did you re-read that?)

Is a picture of a picture of boobs enough layers to make it acceptable?

I won’t be posting any more pictures. You don’t go flashing your audience when you don’t even have one.

Before I get going here, I’m going to head this post with a word of advice: Get your piercings and tattoos done at a professional, clean place. If your biggest concern when looking for an artist is the cheapest price, than you probably shouldn’t be getting any work done. It does make a difference.

Okay, back to nipple piercings. Why nipple piercings, you ask?

I’ve never worked in any field other than medicine. I started as a CNA in nursing homes and built from there. It imbued me with plenty of quality lessons and experiences, like the time an old man in a diaper he made out of his sheets bum-rushed me, so he wouldn’t be late catching his bus to Minnesota. I enjoyed my time in medicine, but it’s time for me to move on. At 24 I’m already feeling burnt out, and there’s absolutely no point in spending the rest of my working years hating my job. I’ve also always felt stifled by the demand that all healthcare professionals look a specific way – i.e. no piercings, visible tattoos. Succinctly, look normal.

I love body modifications, the art, the expression, all of that. I get that it’s not for everyone and I’ve never judged a soul for not having any. Now with more freedom I’ve added a tattoo and a few piercings in the last year. I’ve been thinking about getting my nipples pierced for a while now. After some light research I found that when you Google “nipple piercings” the result is pages and pages of people talking about how incredibly painful it is. I even read reviews from people who said they almost passed out. My experience was bit less melodramatic.

I woke up and found it was a high “boob confidence” day for me. Some of the roads were cleared, and I decided to take advantage of the situation. Carpe diem.

Once I was in the shop I was surprisingly confident. My piercer was respectful and I never felt weird. Not that I expected to – they’re boobs, not mystical purple, wish-granting chest unicorns. Just boobs. Nothing that any piercer with some experience hasn’t seen before. I took my shirt off, sat back and let him start marking away.

I decided on horizontal piercings with bars for jewelry and when all the prep started really happening my nerves kicked in. That rush of adrenaline and anticipation took over. The guy doing my piercing was a portrait of calm. He didn’t act like I would need something to hold onto, or that I should be expecting an unusual amount of pain. And he was right.

The first one went in with a moment of really shitty pinching, and then it was over. Barbell in 1, 2, 3. Then the second one.

I’m pretty sure that your body only gets 1 initial squirt of that wonderful, enveloping, pain killing oxytocin. After that, you’re fucked. He lined up for the other side, told me to take a deep breath, and in it went. Just as easily as the first, but it definitely hurt more. Not enough to make me ‘almost pass out,’ or cry, or start throwing profanities around. Another burst of adrenaline dumped into my brain, and I was sailing smooth. I paid the man, bought some H20cean and went on my merry way.

Another word of advice: Don’t get your nipples pierced when it’s -15 outside, with wind chills nearing -30.

The moment I stepped outside I fully realized the reality of just how hard your nipples can get, and how much that hurts when there’s a new bar of metal through them. Slowly the adrenaline wore off and the ache came on, along with the new awareness of how often my boobs get knocked around. Seriously, these things take a beating. Picking up my purse, turning my car, itching my nose, sending a text with a high amount of gusto, the list goes on and on.

Since getting home there have been plenty of painful knocks and bounces, and residual dull ache, but it’s nothing that doesn’t come with all body mods. It took me about 3 days to put on pants and stop moving around like Hodor after my thigh piece. Now I just need the next 3 months to pass quickly so I can buy pretty jewelry.


4 thoughts on “Pics or GTFO

  1. Hey there, just a few quick observations I hope you’ll take as friendly–

    First, the selective color on your photo (err, it’s a composite, actually?) is great.
    Second, I’m not terribly shocked about bare breasts or piercings, although I was taken a little off guard. Many of the people I know with piercings I met through a live action group I used to be in, and yeah, I got shown full frontal proof above the waist, hehe. But I think you may wish to put up a “NSFW” warning and use the WP “More” code to give your readers a little time to prepare.

    Just sayin’. I did take a long while to figure out what to say… days, weeks, erm.. months, because I didn’t want to offend.

    • I have a very relaxed view of the human body, for obvious reasons – my education has greatly centered around it. I sometimes forget that the general population doesn’t have such a desensitized take on boobs and bare flesh, so I understand and appreciate the NSFW suggestion. That’s not to say I go around flashing everyone, nor would I have the confidence or bravery to post a picture of ‘ the girls’ anywhere on the interwebs.

      The picture is a composite, it’s not me or my photo – I actually found it on Google when SafeSearch was on. And I have discovered that nifty “more” feature very recently and it’s great. I’ve been going back through several of my previous posts and sticking it in there.

      As for that live action – you mean live action role playing, I assume? I know a couple of people that have taken part in, or organized LARP groups – and they’ve all been on ‘weirder’ side. But in that fun way. They’re some of the only people that seamlessly play along when I start doing obscure impressions of Zoolander or Hemingway, even when they don’t know who I’m doing an impression of – and I think that’s a real skill.

      Thanks again for the suggestions, and it takes quite a bit more than that to offend me, so please don’t worry about that when responding to anything I post. Unless you say something like “This is such a stupid post, Ash, you’re an IDIOT. This is a poop post, poophead!” That would probably offend the 8 year old in me greatly.

      • yes, I mean LARP. The Camarilla, specifically, which I think exists now as Mind’s Eye Theatre. It was not a very good experience, unfortunately– a lot of the members were socially toxic.

        Did I gather correctly that you’re in the nursing profession? It’s funny you should mention poop, as you well know that bowel movements can be an indicator of health.

        I don’t think I’ll mention poop too much, really. I might mention my myriad frustrations with the overall health care industry in regards to my chronic conditions, or share some old mental health horror stories, but that’s about it.

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